I wanted to share something with you tonight, to bring a smile to your face on a bitterly cold winter's evening. I went to reach out to you to let you know I’m thinking of you. Right now. But then like just like that you were gone, you’d slipped away without saying goodbye. I find myself gazing at a picture of your smiling face, your birth town beneath in writing, alongside a button that says “add as a friend”.
Somewhere in our beautifully constructed 'reality', a virtual bullet hole in my back smoulders away. It took but two clicks; one to prime and one to fire and with perfect accuracy our friendship fell: to be buried in an unmarked grave and ungrieved for.
With two clicks the digital umbilical cord that connected us became severed. With two clicks the mystical gateway into our lovingly, interweaved existence closed for business. From carrying you around in my pocket, checking in on you from time to time, from celebrating your highs and consoling your lows, my access has been revoked.
Don’t get me wrong – I too am no good at goodbyes. Neither of us like awkward conversations or confrontations - sometimes it’s simply easier to disappear quietly without a fuss. And of course, I miss you and noticed you had gone! I’m just sorry you didn’t have time to leave a note.
And as much as I enjoyed gazing in at a perfect life - sometimes it’s hard for us to see each other’s constructed attempts at perfection. Perhaps we’re not so different after all. But us humans are quick to judge and not so quick to forgive.
But of course my friend, in your darkest hours, should you need comfort when your world is falling apart you shouldn’t forget that I am but two clicks away.
